8.

Finally, I have a somewhat valid excuse for posting my blog update late! I've been away for a work conference, and so my mind has been full of work-related thoughts, and not so much with writing.

And yet, in a way, it's positively influenced me- I have a day zero account where I've listed the 101 things I want to do in 1001 days. On there was 'present at a conference' and today I could log on and indicate that I had completed that item. I then scrolled through to see what else I have on my (not fully complete!) list, as sometimes I do things without realising I'd put them on the list.

There were a high number of tasks that relate directly to creativity in some way, and most of those were to do with writing. And as I looked at some of the things I've already checked off, ranging from big things, like buying a house, to little things like writing my future self a letter, I realised how doable my writing goals are.

One is, of course, to complete NaNo. And right now I have more than 45k words, and four days left. Easy peasy to finish! I'd gone into NaNo with a plan to write each day, slightly more than the minimum since I knew I'd be away for work for a few days. That was the plan, but not the reality. Instead I wrote a little on some days, nothing on others, and on two memorable weekend days, wrote 10k in a day. That, to me, was remarkable. I could see what I was capable of. And if I'd pushed myself, if I'd really needed to, I could have gone beyond those ten thousand words and written more.

I had also planned to start at the beginning and write through to the very end. I plotted my scenes and chapters this way, so I knew that by the time two days had passed, I'd have a chapter, more or less. That didn't eventuate in reality either- I started out that way, but soon reverted to my usual plan of writing whatever is burning within me at the time. For better or worse, it's gotten me close to where I need to be. It's helped me eliminate the plodding moments in between the exciting scenes, and to keep myself excited to write when I felt exhausted or overwhelmed. And now I am faced with a bunch of puzzle pieces to put together, to rewrite into something coherent. Rewriting, I think (I hope!) is where the magic happens. And I can't wait until it's all complete and polished.

The reason I'm so excited about rewriting is because this is a first for me- writing without constant editing, without panicking over a specific word or phrase, with writing tiny notes to myself so that I'll remember to link something in better, or to keep an eye on how I've described something. It took away my excuses- that I couldn't get the word just right, so would continue writing once it popped into my mind, that I couldn't write until I had all of the facts 100% in line, that I couldn't write because it was bad, bad, terrible and bad.

I look forward, so much, to checking off 'Win NaNoWriMo' on my day zero list. And as soon as I do, I'm going to add it back in for next year. I feel like I've grown as a writer, that I've proven to myself that I can do this- and I haven't even won yet! And to me, that makes it an even more important journey- I am proud of myself now, even if I sat for four days and didn't write another word, I still feel like a winner.

I suspect I will have to read that over and over again to convince myself, once the rewriting starts, but that's okay. Because I can't wait.

7.

Well, I'm at least attempting to post around the same time each week- that counts for something, right? An A for effort? I really should set up an alarm to remind myself.

I do have an excuse though- I've been distracted with writing.

All of last week I felt stuck- I'd write 50 words here, and another 50 there, but definitely didn't make my 2k a day goal I needed to catch up and eventually finish NaNo. And on the day that I felt like I could really churn some words out, I had an issue with my car and spent the day taking it to the dealership to be fixed and biting my nails waiting to see if they could repair it (they could) and how much it would cost (much less than expected, thankfully). My flatmate was in a similar position with NaNo- behind, and needing to really catch up. So we decided to have a Weekend of Writing. Of course, the best laid plans...Saturday became filled with the various chores and errands that need to be done in a household.

Which left Sunday. And I'm proud to say that we did really well. We each decided on a forfeit, something we would have to give up for the day if we didn't make our goal. It was a great motivator- we both added 10k to our wordcount, which means I now have a few thousand words as a cushion. Seeing that I could write so many in one day (and, skimming over it afterwards, I'm quite pleased with what I wrote) is definitely keeping me motivated. I added another 2000 yesterday and hope to do the same tonight. My goal for the week is to be in the 40s before Sunday, when I head off on a three day work trip and will likely have very little time for writing.

Yesterday I also used my lunch break wisely and wrote out an outline for a short story idea, and wrote a small section of that. If nothing else, NaNo is inspiring me to just write, to get the words on the page and deal with how pretty it looks later. If I can hit December with 50k of a novel, ready to be edited and rewritten and added to, as well as some story outlines and the bones of a short story, I will be over the moon!

I'm also making post-NaNo plans to keep writing. I have a redecoration of the spare room/office planned, which will be the first room to be redecorated in the house. I want to turn it into a peaceful relaxing sanctuary perfect for writing and reading, with comfy chairs and pillows, and bright but soothing colours on the walls. And I've come up with a writing schedule for 2014 too, which should keep me on track to being where I want to be- a few completed novels under my belt, hiding in a bottom drawer somewhere, and one story polished to the point of being ready for publication. Whether I ever become brave enough to try for that, well, we'll just have to see in a year's time!

6.

One third of the way through NaNo, and I'm slightly behind with my word count. I always figured this would be the case- personally, I like to overestimate when I'm sorting out my schedule- If I say I should get 8k done over a weekend, and only get 6k done, then that gives me an incentive to catch up.

The reason I'm behind, though, is because I ran out of steam with my novel. I started to doubt myself- surely it was a short story, surely it wasn't any good anyway, and therefore can't possibly last 50 000 words, let alone beyond that to become a full, finished novel. I hated everything about it, suddenly and violently. And though I kept writing, I felt like I didn't care any more.

So I sat myself down, and wrote out another synopsis and scene breakdown for my novel. I ended up writing in details that made the story more complete. I wrote the breakdown for a scene that just didn't work when I wrote it, but the new synopsis for it added in something that I think will make it work. I figured out a way to link a vague idea I had for the beginning and the end. I feel energised and excited about writing the story now!

Which is exactly what I should be doing right now, so I'm going to sign off, and get cracking, and hopefully get my wordcount up to where it should be- or maybe beyond!

5.

It's November!

Which means it's NaNoWriMo.

I started on Friday and churned out over 2k, and then Saturday came and...no writing happened. Mostly because I've got the flu (I thought it was just a cold, but alas, it's more draining than that) so I'm achey and cranky and not in the right headspace. Today I was convinced very little writing would occur, but I gave myself a 2k goal (I'd originally hoped to have 8k written by the end of the weekend- woe!), and somehow wrote 3k in that time. There's still a chance some more words will flow tonight, but as it stands, I'm quite happy, considering!

Ignoring my inner editor is HARD. I'm not used to writing this way, just churning out words. I like to get the right word, to phrase things the right way, to use the right name. But I'm working to force myself, as much as I can, to just keep writing and not second guess myself.

I've also learnt that for me, linear writing is almost impossible. I tried to start at the first line and work straight through, but that's just not going to work for me. On the other hand, this helps with stopping my inner editor breaking through. When I get stuck and know I'm going to rewrite the same paragraph over and over, I stop myself, and start a new scene, maybe one from halfway through the novel.

For now, I'm happy with how things are progressing with NaNo. I'm not where I wanted to be, but it could be worse. And right now I'm sitting on 5078 words, and I'm 1/10th of the way through, 1/10th of the days in.

And I'm enjoying the novel. That, more than anything, excites me.