21.

Eep! Not only am I several days behind in my posting, I also have nothing to report. Work has been hectic (first week of semester, which is always crazy), and to top it all off I wasn't feeling very well and have had no energy.

Clearly I need to make a decent schedule and stick to it. I'm so far behind in my goals for the year (only one made so far- submit a story, which is done, although I'm write another for submission in March, so there's that, I suppose!).

I'm holding out a lot of home that the weekend of the 7th/8th will be nice weather. Because if it is, no more procrastinating or being busy- that damn room is getting painted, and my office will finally be done!

20.

Last week was a flurry of being busy for various reasons. And yet, amidst it all, I managed to rewrite a short twice until I was pleased with it, slapped a title I'm not over the moon with on it, and sent it off.

Hitting send too a lot more courage than I expected it to. I don't expect anything to come of it (low expectations = low risk of disappointment) but I'm proud of myself. It's the first time I've ever submitted something I've written for publication. We'll be notified in March, so I'm going to push it out of my mind and keep working on something else.

I'm also trying to figure out a way to rearrange my schedule outside of working hours to accommodate more writing time. At the moment it's a 6am-10pm day, and in the evening I'm exhausted. So I'm thinking of pushing it to a 7am-11pm day, moving gym going to the evenings when I can and settling down to write afterwards. I normally feel so energised after the gym that it could be a good way of trying to get those mental juices flowing. But we'll see!

Mostly I just want a half hour back where I can read in bed! I miss books!

19.

I still can't remember what reading is like. It's been so long since I've been able to curl up and enjoy a book. Writing comes in fits and starts (definitely nowhere near the amount that I'd planned and hoped for), which is something. I worked up the courage to show a short to my BFF who is also a content writer in her daytime job life, and asked her to rip it to pieces. I need to rewrite and rework and take on board the amazing feedback, and the clock is definitely ticking on getting that done.

I also need to get in touch with my writing group. We've all been very quiet of late (at least, I hope we all have and I haven't been secretly cast from the group- ah, insecurities, rearing their ugly heads once more!), but I find their presence so helpful and I learn so much that I really need to get back in touch when I finally manage to unjumble my life.

Not that it's hugely jumbled. It's just that the things that need to be done IRL (as opposed to IWL- In Writing Life) are so time consuming. And a lot of it is caused by more of those pesky resolutions. Work- focusing more on things that will further that career instead of getting by with the day to day is definitely more time consuming than it has any right to be. Health- I've turned into a crazy person who awakes before 6am to go to the gym, and then sometimes goes to a class in the evenings too, which means that by 9.30 I am exhausted and ready for bed. I used to be a night owl, scribbling well into the night, and then finishing off with an hour or more reading time. Now I'm out like a light by 10.30! And the general living- doing the things I need to do to stay sane, like going to a movie or for a drive or a burst of shopping or enrolling in a MOOC.

Hopefully I learn how to juggle a bit better, and stop making excuses. And then maybe I'll be able to write more than the synopsis for a ridiculous shark movie script (which is entirely the BFFs fault as she is obsessed with them, and they always seem to be on the telly in our house, and it must have subconsciously inspired me).
 

18.

I wish I had an update. But I've spent a week with absolutely no writing and no reading either. The no reading part is worse, I think. I spent a three or so year period when I was doing my PhD not reading for fun. I was working ridiculous hours each week, and although I still wrote, as a way to save my sanity, I rarely read anything. In fact, I think the only books I read were the last Harry Potter the day it came out (I took a day off from the lab, which was Highly Unusual Behaviour) and a couple of Discworld and Gaiman novels as they came out. Nothing else. Once I graduated and got into a happier situation, I promised myself I would continue to read. There are things I should be reading (for other people) and there are things I want to read (for myself) and I'm doing neither. Ugh.

In my slight defense, I've stopped reading because my usual reading time (10pm onwards) has now become my sleeping time. I've shifted my day a bit earlier to fit in things like the gym, work, actually cooking meals each night, and some MOOCs I've been interested in taking. Which means other things have slid. I still need to set up a writing space- that's a priority once the weather turns good enough to carry on painting, but it only just occurred to me that it's just as important to set up a reading space too. There's a little nook in the office that would be just right for a comfy chair and small bookcase to keep the 'To Read' pile on.

I'm also trying to get myself to rewrite this thing that, if I want to submit it, is due next week. I think I need my first rejection to really see if I can handle this business. And weirdly, what scares me more is what will happen if I don't get rejected. Somehow that's much more terrifying.